5 Lists For You: Inspired by Recent Events; Getting More Personal
With a twist (new feature) on the last
Hey friend!
Here are 5 lists of 5 things for you. Oh yes, just to give you a heads up, it’s a ~7 minutes read!
This is the second issue this month as I’m taking part in the Coffee Times newsletter challenge. After which, in February, things will be back to normal with just one monthly issue as promised upon your sign-up! :)
Okay, lists time!
5 Ideas for you:
We don’t have to monetise everything we do. We can have side passion projects without wanting a career out of them. We can have hobbies that we want to keep solely for the sake of leisure.
In such a time where side hustling is considered a form of self-care, grinding and burning out are seen as hard work, it is important to remember that not everything needs to be monetised. Having hobbies and a way to destress without the pressure of making money IS self-care.
Even if we don’t make money out of things, doesn’t mean they’re not worth our time and energy.
Make a list of all the things you have accomplished in your life. Now a list with ‘cool things’ you’ve done in your life. Cool can mean anything to you. Whether big or small, but things you’re extremely proud of. It’s a great way for self-encouragement, to remind yourself of your abilities and past achievements.
Make a list of qualities and red flags (deal breakers) you don’t want in the people around you. Filter out/minimise accordingly. I think this is a way for you to stick to your values, having it written down (you can do that for others too).
A mistake I make is not referring to the list as often as I probably should. I ended up ‘bending’ my supposed deal-breakers and forgiving people more than I should. I’ve made this list so long ago (2019? 2020?) that I’ve totally forgotten about it. I should go back to it more often.
Make a list of things that matters to you. People, things, items. If you find yourself being concerned or caring too much about anything or anyone that isn’t on the list, it’s time to shift focus.
Good for times when you’re overthinking or caring too much about the opinions of someone who’s not on the list (though their advice could be helpful; do analyse).
I’m guilty of the same mistake as the previous one.
Take some time off to revisit old hobbies. There’s just something about reconnecting with old hobbies that brings you happiness and stress relief.
5 recent favourite Quotes
Learn to distinguish what is familiar from what is good for you. Those two are not the same. (source: also linked in number 4 of recent readings)
But I’m better off turning it into something that helps me than wallowing in my reality. (source)
The truth is people who get the most of life don’t hibernate. Instead, they experiment and delve into the unknown to see if it will increase their success or satisfaction with life. (Source)
The more we listen to people’s advice, the more we convince ourselves that our own feelings and thoughts are flawed, even if something in our gut keeps telling us that we know best. (source)
You gotta create your own green lights when others yell red. (Source)
5 Recent readings
This answer by Dushka Zapata on ‘How can an average person stop comparing his/herself to others?’.
She’s my absolute favourite writer on Quora, and she’ll always be. I’ve been reading her answers since my early days on Quora in 2015/16. She has published quite a few books, and I’ve read two of them. They’re easy to read as each chapter is relatively short though thought-provoking. The next 3 recommendations are works written by her too.
One of them I’ve read is Love Yourself: and Other Insurgent Acts That Recast Everything (How to Be Ferociously Happy)
The Art of Saying No to Invites When You Really Don't Want to Do Something
5 things to think about this month/writing or journaling prompts:
If you had an ideal self in an ideal world, what kind of person would you be? And what kind of lifestyle would you have? How can you develop small steps to work towards that?
Is there anything or anyone you’ve been making excuses for?
What labels are you using when talking to yourself? (source)
How could you make your self-talk a little more positive each day?
Are you putting your voice first, trusting yourself enough? Or are you putting the voices of others above yours, neglecting your own? Are you choosing or letting others choose for you?
5 of my works my readers have found helpful lately (like the previous issue) OR a list where I’ll add something new — I figured I could try and spice things up at times :)
For this issue, it’s 5 things I’ve been thinking about lately.
Bettering yourself does not only serve you but the people around you too. Never underestimate our impact as individuals on the people around us.
There truly is a reason for most things that you go through, and some of these things may not come with lessons, just changes.
These changes could take place in many forms. Someone could be removed from your life, or you become a more emotional person -- this I’ve witnessed happen to two different people). It could make you realise what you want. Maybe it even prompts you to start a new project or grow in a new direction. Sometimes, it pushes you to do what you’ve always known (e.g. quitting something that you already know isn’t good for you) but never did.
I’ve always thought things only happen and teach lessons that then inspire change. But I realised that sometimes there is no lesson. Things sometimes happen to prompt change.
I wrote about this here in greater detail.
Trigger warning: I say most and not all because I wouldn’t attribute the same to things like traumatic events people don’t deserve to go through, especially as kids.
That revisiting old, forgotten hobbies actually brought me so much happiness. I recently attended a bookmaking workshop, and because of that, I found scrap papers and started doing origami again. I used to do it a lot as a young kid. I had to relearn how to fold a crane, but the process just made me feel like I was reliving my childhood memories again.
Having a passion project empowers you.
I’ve realised over time that writing feels more like a passion project than a side hustle -- even though I used to call it a side hustle for a while before knowing what that means. It was fun and just so happened to bring me a few dollars on Medium every month.
So far I’ve been caring and focusing more on making my writing projects last while thinking of how to help and inspire others to the best of my abilities. Writing online lets me have fun and be creative. It empowers and fulfils me since I’m working on something that I find very meaningful yet fun at the same time.
But I haven’t been obsessed with writing every single day, actively growing and marketing it as a business. I don’t even call it a business. I’ve been caring more about how I could do this such that I don’t dread this, making sure it’ll always be fun for me even on bad days. So I guess I wouldn’t call it a side hustle anymore. It’s not really a hustle.
Don’t get me wrong, I still write often and publish actively twice a week, but not for the money or to the point of side hustling, you know?
One realisation I’ve had recently is how much I actually care about the opinions of others. I’ve always thought that I’ve gotten so much better at it and that it no longer bothers me the same way.
Maybe it has improved, just not in the way I’ve been striving for — yet. I recently realised that even after having written and published this piece some time ago, I’ve still been kinda hiding behind this persona. All because I’ve been nervous about people I know in real life finding out that I write online. It feels a little hypocritical.
I’ve just been afraid that I won’t be able to write and share the same things the same way I do now. I fear that people who know me might be suspicious or not like the idea of ‘being featured’ in my writing or so.
But at the same time, I’ve been experiencing so much joy and excitement with my progress and plans (like Substack launch), but haven’t been able to share any of these with anyone in real life.
Not to be dramatic, but it feels like I’m living a secret ‘double life’ with a whole new world of my own. I love my little space and bubble, but I also wish to be able to celebrate the work that I’m extremely proud of, you know? It just feels quite lonely sometimes.
It’s not that it’s a big deal since readers care more for content. I’ve also read that it’s really okay and even normal to not reveal your identity since people have been doing that for years.
I guess it just doesn’t make me feel entirely me. Which I know it’s just a me issue. Nobody really cares, and none of these would even matter in 5 years.
And that’s why I’m taking steps towards building that confidence.
I plan to work towards no longer feeling embarrassed about my passion project. It’s not even illegal or a bad thing.
My next step
is to tell 2 close friends and my younger brother about me writing online.
I won’t announce it to the world and tell literally everyone I know, but it’ll be nice to celebrate my joy and progress with someone in real life and not just all alone in my room. It’ll be great to not feel embarrassed about doing what I love and find meaningful.
I’ll keep updating my progress with you guys here in the following issue! :)
Fun fact: it’s not a big deal, but I’ve purposely included my name and surname (Ow) in my current newsletter logo design, just for a small start.
Also, I'm really sorry about the formatting in the last 2 points, aligning them this way is the only way I could get the paragraphs breaks to look cleaner on mobile. This is how it looked like before:
The one for point 5 looked chunkier than this. Nah, not for me either. I wouldn’t make you go through all that too.
Anyway, before you go…
Oh, and I have an upcoming favour to ask. I will be submitting my contest issue about my writing journey and what writing means to me as part of the Coffee Times Challenge. I would really appreciate receiving a ‘like’ for that contesting issue to move on to the later phases of the contest. That issue will be published by Coffee Times (Substack), and I’ll share the link in the February issue when the time comes.
Thank you, friend! 😬
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Thank you, friend! 😬